2023
OUTSIDER ep. 1: Manifesting
In a thrift shop, I happened upon a discarded box of anonymous photographs from the 1370s (the 1990s). They belonged to a moalem-e parvareshi (school master) who appeared in nearly every frame alongside his young male students on school trips and field activities. In an era defined by rigid gender segregation, these images captured a dense, subversively intimate male bonding, a closed world permitted only away from public eyes. When the teacher passed away, his box of memories simply ended up on a junk shelf. The moment I found them, I knew they were my material.
But as I sat with them at home, looking closer, a profound frustration took over. These boys, being molded within the school system, were being trained to become the future gears of an oppressive machine. Looking at their faces, I felt an overwhelming urge to wipe away their identities. I wanted to commit an act of violence through a completely non-violent medium.
So, I picked up my brush and began to burn them with paint.
At first, I used a sharp stencil, creating edgy, detailed flames of red, yellow, and white. But as I systematically ruined their faces and erased their identities, my anger began to lift. A sense of calm took over. The colors bled into one another and my palette shifted; the aggressive reds softened into pinkish tones. I threw away the stencil and began painting freehand with fluid, almost fluffy brushstrokes. By manifesting this destruction through art, unlike the physical and mental violence they inflict upon us, I found a temporary peace. They set our homeland on fire; I set their memories on fire. But who am I kidding? This is only a performative act of claiming closure; it won’t grant any for real.
This collection presents the first 54 frames of this transformation. It marks the beginning of an ongoing dialogue with an archive of over 200 remaining photographs, a continuous process of burning, letting go, and maybe finding peace!
Watch Me Fly
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